The Agony Of Why

The Agony of Why

My mind aches with rippling fierceness with all the thoughts, the fears, the doubts, and other feelings

A cascading torrent of sensory stimuli fire all neurons at once making me a marathon runner desperately attempting to reach the finish line in Morpheus's realm

My Heart is breaking with all of the sadness, the anger, the love lost, and emptiness pulsating through it with every beat

The memories of past joyous occasions muffled by its painful thumping

My Body is collapsing under the stress of being everyone's Atlas, keeping their worlds from crumbling around them, being their rock, their listener, the one who helps them relieve their pain

Why is my world so hard to keep up? Where is my rock, my soft whisper of everything is alright, my warm embrace when my will breaks for naught but a second and the tide of shadows, of my demons decides to break through sending me down into a void of my own making?

My Soul pleads with me to let it be free! To let it breathe and expand its consciousness, to be more than just what I currently am.

Fear of scorn, of rejection, of love lost, of misplaced hate, and unending sadness forms a dark gate of unease..... shielding it from harm but crushing its hope of escape each passing day. 

Why does it hurt? Why must I feel like this? Why must I feel alone even when surrounded by people? Am I not good enough? Why aren't you proud? Why aren't my talents encouraged? Why do they all leave? Why won't they talk to me?...........Why? Why? Why?....... Why do I feel so unloved, so unwanted, so unneeded? Am I nothing but just another briefly lit candle.... waiting to burn out? Will I end in a bang...... or a whimper?

Submitted by: Branwyn Jobes